Mary Sue the Vampire Slayer
I know not all urban fantasy is like this. But you know just the type of heroine I mean. They don’t make them any older than twenty-eight.
The way people talk about green eyes in bad fantasy literature, by the way, you’d think I’d be able to shoot fire from my hands or at least get a discount on subway passes. In fairness my eyes are not emerald; they’re more like nephrite.